The Victim Mentality

I reread the book a few weeks ago.  It’s interesting that even though I wrote it, I learn something new each time.  Perhaps my mind wanders through a different sequence of thoughts and arrives at expanded or even new conclusions. This is mentioned in the book, explaining that thoughts and memories are stored in relationship to the concepts that are familiar to us. When concepts change,  those thoughts and memories shift to that new concept, and a new interpretation of our memories can emerge.  I love the part where we seem to be in control of our own destiny. But even more, I love the part where we are responsible for our own actions.

In my practice, I see many unfortunate folks who have been the victims of accidents.  Some of these are self inflicted, others involve causally related actions of others. But rarely do I see the old phrase “an act of God” used anymore.  It used to be mentioned that some accidents have no other explanation than occurring by “an act of God”.  You could call it bad luck, or an unfortunate turn of events, but mostly in todays medico-legal system “bad luck” and “unfortunate” do not appear in the textbooks. There always seems to be someone else at fault for our misfortune.

You get hit by lightening or fall in a ditch, or perhaps strike a deer with your car.  What used to be an “act of God” has turned into a victim being taken advantage of by life itself.   There should have been a sign saying, “beware of lightening”;  another warning of the possibility of ditches, and lastly “don’t hit the deer”.  That way there is someone to blame, or better yet to sue when an act occurs. No more random events, only conspiracies and liability. The bottom line—-someone else caused this problem—-not me.

I’m not saying that people don’t hurt other people, either intentionally or non-intentionally, and I’m not saying that victims shouldn’t be compensated when it’s blatently someone else’s fault, but perhaps the pendulum has swung way to far to one side on this issue.

It seems we are turning into a society of victims, where everything that happens to us is compensable:  poverty, pregnancy, loss of job, loss of dignity, social injustice, mental illness, physical illness. Well you get the picture. It’s getting difficult for a society to sustain this type of thinking, both socially and economically.  But more importantly it weakens our own energy when we continually consider ourselves victims. “It’s not my fault, I’m a victim. Help me. Sustain me,  Compensate me.”

I can’t remember the last auto accident victim I have seen who felt the accident was her/his fault.  Is it possible that the person who is stopped dead at a green light, and is texting, has some blame for getting hit from the rear?

If we are truly energy beings, our energy is diminished by this type of thinking. We lose our true grit, our essence as human beings, and merely become victims, and then possibly whiners and then fail to reach our potential,  because someone or something victimized us.

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